You've probably heard of win-win. My sense is that there is often a third element, or even another person, in any given situation. My experience is that we cannot succeed, grow, or simply become unstuck, until we figure out what that is.
We may have blind spots detrimentally affecting our job performance or the quality of our relationships. In a final-five BBC The Apprentice interview, Claude Littner confronted a candidate stating "you don't know what you don't know, because you don't know it." A profound yet obvious truth for us all.
Clearly, leaders want to win, as does an organisation, its customer, staff, and so on. It's a view that looks beyond self-interest somewhat to our impact on both the immediate and wider world. In most business and personal transactions it pays to consider not only the mutual benefit for you and another party, but what effect it might have on (say) the team, company, environment, family, or community.
In my marriage I've found that conflict between us often brings into play another dimension - yes, I could blame the kids, but invariably it's something from my past causing tension and problems now.
Sometimes life drops a bombshell, and we need to talk that through, lest we go under, or look for consolation in all the wrong places. Other times we just get stuck in a rut. I've seen this many times around the half-way mark. It's not so much a mid-life crisis as a conscious or sub-conscious attempt to assess who we are, where we are, and what we want to do differently, better, or not at all, in the second half of our lives.
I would invite you to chat through what a Win-Win-Win situation looks like for you, your spouse and the kids; your employment, or whatever circumstance you're in. Better that than a hasty and potential painful and costly Lose-Lose-Lose decision.
My work is born of decades of insights having collaborated with thousands of people; experience enhanced by multi-disciplined training; plus, an uncanny instinct for nailing a question that gets to the heart of the matter. The aim being to bring understanding both of the 'now' and any influences from our past, thus presenting opportunities and options for moving forward. There are plenty of places I used to 'live' that just didn't work for me, or those close to me. Now I don't even visit them anymore.
It's worth noting that many clients I work with are not fully aware what other factor might be at play until we start meeting together, just that there's something else going on.
So, if you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far let's go together. I'd love to journey with you.